It really is amazing what women can do with their asses.
We had the 1 Ass 2 Fists Video and that was amazing to say the least. Now we have the 1 Ass 1 Baseball Video and I'm sure frequent readers to this site can probably guess, there is a baseball most likely in very close proximity to her ass.
Enjoy!

Remember you must be at least 21 years of age to watch the 1 Ass 1 Baseball Video

Old news is not always boring news, especially when it's sexy cheerleaders.
These are pictures of the now disbanded Arizona State University (ASU) cheerleader squad.
Their pictures were posted on a college site called TheDirty.com and here they are in their lingerie goodness.

God Bless America for free speech!

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts,

'honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
It's been flickering for weeks now'.

He looks at her and says angrily,
'fix the lights now?
Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead?
I don't think so'.

Fine,

then the wife asks,
'well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right '

to which he replied,
'fix the fridge door?
Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead?
I don't think so'.

'Fine', she says
'then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break '

'I’m not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps'.
He says, 'does it look like I have ACE Hardware written on my forehead?
I don't think so
I’ve had enough of you.
I'm going to the bar!!!! '

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a
couple of hours………………………….

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home.
As he walks into the house, he notices that the steps are already fixed.

As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working.

As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

'Honey', he asks, 'how'd all this get fixed?'
she said, 'well, when you left I sat outside and cried.

Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.

He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake'.

He said, 'so what kind of cake did you bake?'

she replied,
'hellooooo do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?
I don't think so!'

Alexi, Ahhh, Sexy Alexi.  This boy is amazing in bed, absolutely shockingly awesome. Considering his lack of experience (which only includes two other girls, whom were both virgins.) We had been dating, and were arguing a lot. I told him he was acting different towards his friends, and that I didn't like being the cause of that. I told him it wasn't working, and ended it. He came running after me as I walked back to my car, he grabbed me by the arm. We talked about it and discussed it, and decided things could work out.
I headed to a party with Laiho, "Cute but Slow", Screamer, and Screamers band mate 'Rhythm' (rhythm guitarist for the band).  All the people that they lived with were there, already pretty drunk. I'm trying to get a game of Halo 2 started and keep wandering back and forth between the living room and Cute but Slows room. I walk into the room to see Screamer on the bed, in his socks. I'm not afraid of feet so I scoop one up and start rubbing it. I do this for a while and then, “Hey aren't you dating Alexi?” he asked me. "Naw we broke up earlier today. " I say and shrug. A few minutes later I am offered a back rub from Rhythm. " I'm down! " ( I'm a sucker for back rubs.) I smooth my skirt down while I stretch out on my tummy, Laiho on one side, Screamer on the other and Rhythm just to my side rubbing my back and doing a great job. I start dreaming for a minute and decide to just relax and enjoy it. Eventually I and Laiho start wrestling, he gets that way when he drinks. He literally picks me up and throws me onto the bed, where I tumble into Screamer, who is pretty wasted by now and pulls me into his lap and cuddles me. I raise an eyebrow at Liaho. Rhythm gives up on the back rub and leaves, Cute but Slow was arguing with his sister in the living room. Laiho smiles, nods and stands up, “Should I lock the door?” he mouths to me. I nod and continue wrestling and messing around with Screamer.  His brunette hair straight to his lower back. Huge crystal blue eyes. Tall, broad shouldered and built. He pins me on the bed and we start making out, almost having sex. My shirt and bra on the floor, his pants are undone, shirt pushed up high on his chest. “This is Rhythms bed. “ he complained, " He has to sleep here tonight. " I sigh and roll over, pulling my bra to me and clasping it back in place. “My house then?” he nods and we dress and then drive over to my house, a few miles over the bridge. I slip into my room and we lay down, talking a bit, turning music on and then getting right back to where we started.
He pulls me on top and I start to really enjoy myself when he looks up at says, " Not bad for a virgin huh?” I almost died. I stopped moving and asked, " What? " and he laughed and pushed up into me again, trying to inspire me to keep going although all it does is grind his huge dick against my insides and makes me groan a little.
"You're not a virgin.?" I replied shaking my head determinedly and moving a little, trying to regain my composure.
"Yes I am, didn't you know? " he asks and I reach over grabbing my cell phone. " There's no way. " I reply sternly and dial Laiho's number. He answers on the second try. "What! " he sounds tired, it's only 3 am. “Is Screamer a virgin?”, hearing me talk about him, screamer pushes up once more and laughs at the whole situation. “Yeah, everybody knows he's a virgin. You didn't know he was a virgin? " Laiho asks starting to get angry with me. " Not any more he's not! " I said just as angrily back and hung up.
I shrug my shoulders and finish with Screamer. " Told you I was a virgin. " he says. I snuggled closer to his shoulder and lay my head on his chest, pulling the blanket over me, "You're effing crazy. "I close my eyes and think over and over again, why would he lose it to me?

The next day I break up with Alexi. I didn't tell him about my cheating, I just make sure that we're not together anymore, and I make sure that I and the lead singer of my favorite local metal band Screamer are together. Alexi comes to me one night while I'm visiting Crazy Goth Girl and Screamer and demands to speak with me.  He claims he just found out I cheated on him with "The Blackness" also.  Damn, I can't handle the look in his eyes, intense and broken. I walk away. I just walk down the street and leave them all behind.  I bounced to Laiho's house and soon after I began to explain what was going on.  Alexi came by looking devastated. He tried talking but I was busy smoking and slightly ignoring him. Finally he turned and walked away. I finished my cigarette, thanked Laiho and ran to catch up with Alexi. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him back to me, " Let's talk" I said and we chatted Idly on a bench for a while, I was texting the blackness, and he pulled up in his convertible and told us to both get in. We grudgingly did and with a few minutes of being fully honest with each other we were all back to laughing and talking and ended back at my house. I hooked up with the blackness one more time and decided that the odds between when it was good and when it was bad were stacking up to the latter. I climbed on top of my Alexi and orgasmed like only he can make me. We talked and discussed what I wanted. I had already taken Screamers virginity, unknowingly. But now I had a clingy virgin stuck to me like emotional glue. I told Alexi I wanted him back, I wanted him to wait for me to get Screamer off my case without mentally scarring him and then we could be back together. This worked for about a week and a half.
A week of awesome sex and orgasmic bliss continued.
Liaho found out that I had been cheating on Screamer for the whole time and demanded I tell him. We drove up there and told him and broke up with him. He took it pretty well and said he wishes things could have been different but didn't expect anything less considering he was the third party to begin with. I spent the next week being single. I had them both in the palm of my hand but can't say I wasn't enjoying it. A few parties go by with me, Screamer, and Alexi in the same place, with alcohol, and the drama rises and finally boils over. I take a good hard look at my life and make my decision. I go to Alexi's and talk to him and we decide to try the whole dating thing once more...

Following on from Yesterdays Thai Massage Parlors we have the Thai Sex Show.
There are basically 2 kinds.  The regular sex show and the show with animals!
Surprisingly, Mr. Phucked ran at out of time for the animal show.  I was too busy avoiding the Lady Boys!
It really is amazing what Thai women can do with their Vagina.  They really are very talented!

The sex show consisted of:

• Picking up beer bottles with their vagina
• Firing an egg out of their vagina
• Firing ping pong balls out of their vagina into a target bucket

The finale to this show was a girl who managed to pull out of her vagina 100 pins all tied together with string.
This was truly amazing.  So when she was done with her performance, I had to ask how she did it.
Apparently the trick is to insert them carefully behind the stage with the sharp ending pointing inside her.  On stage she carefully pulls them out, with the blunt end coming out first, thereby preventing vaginal injuries (hopefully).

So there you have it, Thailand is filled with talented Vaginas!

“You like happy ending”?  Is probably one of the most famous phrases, but how true is it really?

My trip to Thailand included Sex shows, various Massage Parlors as well as the regular crap like temples, clubs, bars, beaches and some great restaurants. But I know you all want to hear about the sex shows and massage parlors.

There are basically 3 kinds of massage parlors.  The regular massage parlors that are legit.  Massages where happy endings are offered and the buffet style where you choose your girl(s) for sex.

Regular Massage Parlors
$20 for 1 hour full body massage except penis, great value, feels very relaxing but that’s not why you’re reading this article!

Happy ending Massage Parlors

$25 for 1 hour full body massage with a twist…
At the end she will whisper into your ear and ask “you like special massage?” or the now famous line “You like happy ending?”
The price of this varies on the girl, anywhere from $5 to $10 for a hand massage of your “special area”

Buffet Massage Parlor
If you have seen the Rush Hour 2 movie, it’s very much like that.  There is normally a glass screen with around 30 girls sitting behind it, each with a number tag.  You simply choose whatever number or numbers you would like.
If you choose 2 girls, you can request a Thai Sandwich.  This is where the 2 naked girls each lather themselves in oil.  One lies beneath you with the other on top.  They both rub against you and you can do whatever you want!
This will cost you around $50 for 1 hour.

Check back tomorrow for the Sex Shows!

OK Guys, thinking about your next vacation?
Want to be guaranteed sex whilst on vacation?
Let me tell you about my trip to Thailand, specifically PhuKet…

Phuket is small town by the ocean, great beaches, nice hotels, cheap food and a slut buffet.
Venturing out at night to the clubs and bars you will find them full of woman willing to do anything and entice you to take them home.
Some are local girls looking for a good time and many are hookers selling a good time.  I found the following:

- Bunch of 4-5 girls all dressed as school girls (All willing to go home together)
- Bunch of nurses
- Bunch of cheerleaders
- Lots of single girls alone and many with “friends” who can join them

In other words, a pervert’s paradise!

If you’re looking for a local, simply buying them a nice dinner ($10) will get them home with you.
If you want them even faster the local hookers will go home for $20 the whole night!
Want two at the same time?  $50 and anything goes!

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the famous Thai massage parlors...

It's been a while since we added more crap to the site and I think it's time!
The last one we added was the 1 Girl 1 Pitcher Video and we have followed up with what Mr. Phucked likes to call 1 Girl 1 Plate.
It does not take a PHD to figure this one out.  1 Girl takes a crap on a plate and maybe, just maybe, someone will eat from it...

Remember, you must be at least 21 years of age to watch the 1 Girl 1 Plate Video!

I sometimes check out the reaction videos to That's Phucked on YouTube.
Currently there are 48 videos of people watching videos on this site and recording their reactions to them.
Check them out here

But my favorite was one recorded by "sparklebooger"
She has a cute Pomeranian dog which is the same breed as my friend's dog but most of all, she is VERY sexy and can you say perfect breasts?

Over the weekend, I did a test.  Very scientific of course!
My friend has this cute little puppy.  I have a 2 seat convertible sports car. 
So which one will get me the most numbers in any given hour?
I borrowed her dog and headed over to a local StarBucks by the beach.  Parked my car away from the coffee shop and walked over with my puppy.  Grabbed a coffee and sat outside.
The one hour test begins...
After 3 minutes, hot blonde walks up asks about the puppy, we chat for a few minutes then she meets her boyfriend, bummer.
Further 2 minutes, 3 teenage girls, sexy but not legal.
Another 5 minutes, hot brunette, comes over with her puppy, perfect.  After a few minutes of chatting she asks to join me, score.  We chat for about 20 minutes, she has to leave to a meet a friend but not before she gives me her number.
15 minutes past and 1 number so far, not bad.
Next 45, pretty slow.
Down to the last 15 minutes and we have a hot mom and daughter.  The mother is around 35 and sexy as hell.  I'm having MILF fantasies here.  They chat to me about the puppy because she wants to get her daughter a puppy.  Daughter goes inside to get coffee, I flirt with the mother outside.  She is VERY flirty, love this shit!
Before the daughter returns, she slips me her number under my coffee cup.
1 hour, 1 puppy, 2 numbers.  Pretty good I think.
So I return to the car, drive over to my friends place and return the puppy.
I drive over to a different coffee shop and park opposite the seats outside.
Everyone outside can see the car.  I go in, grab a coffee and sit outside for 5 minutes.  No girls approach.
I decide then to stand against my car, drinking the coffee, pretending I'm waiting for someone.
30 minutes pass, bored, no attention, few smiles, but no girls approach.  Once guy chatted to me about the color, not good!
Then I take the top down, site inside the car for 15 minutes, again, nothing.  I then decide to cruise down the beach for the last 15 minutes, lots of stares, no numbers.
 
Conclusion
If you want phone numbers, save your money on the car and buy a puppy and work on your puppy communication skills.
The car might help to get you laid on a date, but to get the date, a puppy can help!